Survival

vagaries of time
moulded me into something
that i have much ado to know myself
i see myself in the mirror
same eyes , same face
my mind is not mine
the spirit is someone's else
myself is like a tree
destoyed but still intact
roots still in earth
the tree will soon die
and so will my existence end
it seems a battle's lost
in vain did i fight for so long
whom i am to question know?
my god is still in his hood
he will take his time to rise
lets see if till that i survive

Shades of Grey

He laid down finally ..the journey must have taken a toll ..it was a small distance and he wondered about the fatigue . The mind must have been tired too ,so a compounded effect he concluded . It was a large empty green ground. Engulfed with silence , covered with stars..the sky was spotted and clear , so it was easy to figure out the figures in the stars and that kept him engaged for a while. The calm of the green background, the spotted cover was in stark contrast to the uneasy restlessness of his mind. And despite of his constant and earnest effort to let the atmosphere outside engulfe and imbibe him , the two remained disparate as if a shield was preventing the merger . The restlessness and the calm breathed in chorus!!

Not from this world ,baba ,he murmured. How else the restlessness . Innocent heart , pure as a pool of dead. Such hearts are harbingers of restlessness. But despite the restlessness he never questioned the heart . A pure heart ,baba, need to be revered and not despised. Pure heart ..a rare commodity!!

And there she arrived ,as she always would , dressed in white , with shades of grey !!. Still, the grey ,alas!!,he murmured . Her arrival , though always unique, was always accompanied by brimming eyes and a rapidly beating heart. He would often wonder , how her very arrival, though transient and Janus-like would invite such a honest reaction from his heart. The heart would not just be an organ , he said , it must be alive with its own spirit. If only it had a mind as well!! What a futile effort it makes to yearn for completeness in transient moments. Transient moments and that too Janus-like!!.

The white figure , with shaded of grey , vanished and the spotted cover reappeared . It would take him a while to come to terms with the loss. The loss that had created a hole which became slightly wider and deeper with each meeting . If only she leaves her shades of grey , if only she is only white ..An aspiration ..but then aspire he could without constraints in the otherwise constrained life .. If only the she leaves her shades of grey , he murmured , and walked on....