VOICE

It was something I never deserved. Probably the work of the the elves had become ugly.
Somehow I had ignored the cruel facts and said the show must go on almost always …but this was unfair beyond limits ……It was a merciless death ….brutal death with a host of witness who turned hostile .The fact they spoke nothing.The very silence of those around aroused the loudest screams within me ….
How dearly I needed a voice ………how dearly …One voice to stand and speak for me …one voice that would save the shameless death of innocence . One voice that would assure that innocence if not respected is atleast not ridiculed …… .I could never imagine God could have allowed that …..I still not believe that …..or don’t want to believe that …Somehow defeats are fine ..but that was the last remnant of self respect , my honor broken into pieces and laughed at . And if He didn’t speak ..shouldn’t I have spoken ….
And I did speak …..A desperate fight for my last bit of honor …..A fight out of desperation , in desperation in a desperate bid to save my honor being dishonored , in front of a partly quiet , partly laughing audience .
Defeat of all innocence, all virginity ...everything that is pure …….and I had to absorb my shrieks within ……they did cry ….too loud at times …and I honored them ..they deserved to be loud ……they were mourning a death ……..

As if life ceases
the moment we part


The body moves ,
soul is left afar


Some mystic spell
Between Venus and Mars

Was it your eyes
or was it your heart

How I wish
That it forever lasts

Imbibed that you are
In my soul and heart

No distance can part
No difference set us apart

The little journey with you
was my best time so far

Life without you
Is an impossible task

And hence I would wait
Till I breathe my last

Survival

vagaries of time
moulded me into something
that i have much ado to know myself
i see myself in the mirror
same eyes , same face
my mind is not mine
the spirit is someone's else
myself is like a tree
destoyed but still intact
roots still in earth
the tree will soon die
and so will my existence end
it seems a battle's lost
in vain did i fight for so long
whom i am to question know?
my god is still in his hood
he will take his time to rise
lets see if till that i survive

Shades of Grey

He laid down finally ..the journey must have taken a toll ..it was a small distance and he wondered about the fatigue . The mind must have been tired too ,so a compounded effect he concluded . It was a large empty green ground. Engulfed with silence , covered with stars..the sky was spotted and clear , so it was easy to figure out the figures in the stars and that kept him engaged for a while. The calm of the green background, the spotted cover was in stark contrast to the uneasy restlessness of his mind. And despite of his constant and earnest effort to let the atmosphere outside engulfe and imbibe him , the two remained disparate as if a shield was preventing the merger . The restlessness and the calm breathed in chorus!!

Not from this world ,baba ,he murmured. How else the restlessness . Innocent heart , pure as a pool of dead. Such hearts are harbingers of restlessness. But despite the restlessness he never questioned the heart . A pure heart ,baba, need to be revered and not despised. Pure heart ..a rare commodity!!

And there she arrived ,as she always would , dressed in white , with shades of grey !!. Still, the grey ,alas!!,he murmured . Her arrival , though always unique, was always accompanied by brimming eyes and a rapidly beating heart. He would often wonder , how her very arrival, though transient and Janus-like would invite such a honest reaction from his heart. The heart would not just be an organ , he said , it must be alive with its own spirit. If only it had a mind as well!! What a futile effort it makes to yearn for completeness in transient moments. Transient moments and that too Janus-like!!.

The white figure , with shaded of grey , vanished and the spotted cover reappeared . It would take him a while to come to terms with the loss. The loss that had created a hole which became slightly wider and deeper with each meeting . If only she leaves her shades of grey , if only she is only white ..An aspiration ..but then aspire he could without constraints in the otherwise constrained life .. If only the she leaves her shades of grey , he murmured , and walked on....

Bidding Adieu to a Rockstar

Steve you will be missed !!.. A mere mortal like me shouldn't be writing on you .
All I can say is that we can only aspire to be an iota percentage of you .

If ever in my life I be successful , I would look at your life and see that a genius created a PC at an age of 25 and I was never that successful at that age and will to my last breath have to raise the bar to be an iota that successful as you ....and you will be the inspiration.


Thanks for being present amongst mere mortals!!

Of Dravids and Armstrongs

The equivalent of Dravid in an MBA world would be a high profile consultant from McKenzie. Meticulous, structured and extremely focused. Excellent in any assignment he undertakes and with an increased hunger to excel in any assignment at any stage of career. So while the entire Indian team was struggling in the series with England, the wall stood firm , as meticulously in his last as he would have in the first test. What makes him a more admirable character is the fact that he is more of an unsung hero. We all aspire for awards and accolades. This is what we say ‘Keeps us going’ . And than there is a breed of ‘Dravid’ , who would keep fighting undeterred, the same passion aggression and focus each and every time. The behavior is so mechanical, so devoid of the human element, that it won’t be wrong to compare such characters with programmed robots. That is why probably they say ‘Men with Nerves of steel’
Ivansevic, when he won the Wimbledon in the year 2001 said ‘ He has no regrets left in his life’.That was the only time he won a Wimbledon title . Federer ,after winning some 15 grandslams , fighting for his Australian open title in 2009, against Nadal , lost, and cried like a baby . After 15 grand slams !!!….Such hunger , such professionalism and discipline is what separates a winner from a champion.
And then there are Zephyrs, men who were written off and they bounced back , stronger and harder .’Its not about the bike’ an autobiography by Lance Armstrong’ is certainly not about the bike, its about the grit and determination of an incredible human being who rode that bike. Lance was a wonderful cyclist and he had won many tough races . What eluded him was ‘the toughest race on earth, ‘The tour de france’… Lance was diagnosed with cancer. The book talks about his incredible fight with cancer and how he eventually won the Tour de france post his recovery from cancer.
Perseverance , I suppose is the strongest trait a man can possess. It defies any other trait eventually. People like Dravid and Armstrong define this trait. I would end this blog with the famous words of Kahn , the german goalkeeper ,which he said when germany lost to Brazil in a football worldcup . He said ‘ You never win a silver , you always lose a gold’… ..keep fighting!!!